The boys came out to be with me. They fell into horse brushing as if that were their usual routine. It wasn’t. I’d never required them to do anything with Frey. He was my responsibility, and I didn’t think I should impose him on anyone. Besides, I was once again seriously considering leaving. If only I could bear the pain of separating myself from the boys. I knew they’d be fine. They had the officer and Mrs. Penn. It was me who’d become dependent on the boys’ hugs and kisses.
“Why are you mad at Frank?” Frances asked.
For a moment I considered what to tell him. I wanted to expose the jerk for who he really was, but I couldn’t do that to the boys. They needed the relationship. They’d become a family.
Whoops, that word was a bite so hurtful, I almost couldn’t respond to Frances’ question at all. For a moment in time, I’d almost been part of a family. I’d almost been loved and cherished. But that was gone now. I was alone again. Except I still had Frey.
Leaving the question unanswered, I threw my arms around Frey and sobbed out my pain. In a moment, I had two little arms surrounding me. Well, perhaps not surrounding me, but doing the best their small limbs could do to console me and offer their support.
“We love you, Shama,” Carlo said.
“He’s a fool, girl. Let it go. There are other fish in the river. You don’t need that one.”
Mrs. Penn shouldn’t have walked out this far. What would the doctor say about that? But then her words hit me. I didn’t know why she was referring to fish . . . oh. She meant the officer.
“I’m never speaking to him again,” I told her, completely forgetting that the ears of the boys were on red alert, absorbing every drop of my anguish.
But I couldn’t unsay it. I couldn’t lie. Old Mother had lectured that a lie festers inside the soul. It eats away at a person’s core until there’s nothing left. For a white witch, that happens faster than pouring liquid lye on top of waste material.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Mrs. Penn lectured me.
I just looked at her. What could I add to that? Officer Frank had betrayed my trust. He had hurt me worse than when the whole village threw rocks at me.