And while I was examining my feelings about settling into Tinkle Town, I suppose if I were being honest, I’d need to mention Officer Krugle. It was true that he more or less terrified me, although I’d never mention that to him, but he also intrigued me. I would miss him, too, I decided, even though, he made my heart beat faster with his probings into my background. How much longer could I avoid his questions?
And here he was, far too close The exhale of his breath was breathing down on me, and his eyes were sending goosebumps of fear. At least, I thought that’s what they were from. I swallowed harder and sought to calm myself. Should I answer him? Should I tell him that I didn’t fear him in that way? Because somehow I did trust him, and yet, I couldn’t really have faith that he wouldn’t cast me out when he had all the facts. I couldn’t rely on anyone because to do so would get me stoned, or worse, even burned at the stake. No one wanted a witch in their town. No one believed that white witches only did good.
I took in air like someone drowning. Old Mother had told me once that an accumulation of lies could feel like piled bricks on a person’s chest. That’s what my body felt like. My inhales felt strained. I wondered if my lungs were getting air. Wasn’t that why people fainted, from lack of air?
But his eyes were still peering down into mine. He was still too close. He was even slightly bent over me as if he wanted to . . . No, that was my imagination. The officer would not want to kiss me. I was an unnamed, a worthless, an ugly nobody. I tried to step back and fought to regain my breath, but that wasn’t possible. Frey was behind me. How had I turned around to face the man? When had I done so?
My brain was swinging like a watch on a chain. Dizziness hit me, too fast to take heed. I had no warning. I simply woke to find myself in the officer’s arms.
Had I fainted? That wasn’t me. It wasn’t possible. Yet, the memory of how I’d come to be enfolded against his body didn’t exist. I opened my eyes to speak. I don’t know what I planned to say, but I didn’t get the chance. His lips were touching mine, and then I sank into another plane of existence. I don’t know how to say it any other way. For in that instance, there was no me or he, only a joining, as if minds could meld as simply as heated water and sugar.