Why had I suddenly become so suspicious of him . . . and of us? What was the cause of my hesitation? Sure, I was young, but lots of couples married even younger. Some marriages began just after high school graduation. Yes, marrying Timothy would require my life to change. If I did, I’d have to adapt . . .
But, why the if? I’d already committed to our relationship. I’d agreed to marry Timothy. I’d told him I would.
We loved each other. We jived, as my roommates would have put it. We found bliss in bed. Wasn’t that a complete capitulation? No, not a capitulation. Capitulation meant defeat. Getting married didn’t mean I was surrendering to Timothy’s wishes. I wanted this relationship, too. It would be lovely to be with him fulltime. What did it matter where we spent that time? Why was I clinging to a past, wanting an apartment just because my grandmother had lived there? And why did I want to hold onto a job I really didn’t like?
Timothy had left me to my thoughts to start up his shower. I listened as the water thundered, hitting the floor tile and one very hunky, handsome man, a man who wanted to marry me. Timothy was perfect, yet I continued hesitating as if . . .
I heaved a giant sigh, stopping those doubts from forming ever bigger in my mind. I remembered something my grandmother used to say. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap. Didn’t that apply here?
Before I allowed my overly cautious nature to drag me back again into uncertainty, I discovered that my feet were walking me towards the shower. I shed my clothes as I neared the room. Then, finally, naked, I opened the door to the bathroom.
Grandma was right. Sometimes you just had to take a leap, and I was ready to do so. Amazingly, in deciding that, my heart sped up, and the uncertainties that had been plaguing me all day seemed to depart.
The shower water was just the right temperature as I stepped inside: perfect, and so was the man whose arms enclosed me. And it was right.
The End of the first draft of Book One:
The Abyss of WonderLand