“Well, that was certainly awful,” the queen said. “I would hope you can do better tomorrow. A song, perhaps, a dance. Henri here dances quite well. He could teach some new steps. Then you could blend in with the others when the court returns.
“Oh, and we must get you out of that dreadful outfit. No one wears clothing like that. It is despicable. Surely Queen Moragana did not allow . . .” The queen’s nose wrinkled as if she were smelling something with a horrible stench. Surely my nervousness during the capture hadn’t undone my deodorant? I wanted to sniff my armpits, but I didn’t.
“Let me see. Yes, Lady McGuirda has some elegant gowns that might fit you. She is near your size.
“Spanda, go fetch this child some dresses, five or six should be adequate for now. Then when the tailor returns, we’ll produce a whole spectrum of gowns. Multi-hues. And the child will need hair dressings, of course, and underthings. Spanda, you know what a woman needs. Be appropriate. Lady McGuirda will not go easy on you if you make a mess of her drawers or if she finds out that you have dallied among her intimates.”
“Thank you,” I said, glancing nervously at Spanda, and wondering how he got such an awful name, one that sounded like a barely there swimsuit. “But I will not be staying here long. I need to go back to my husband. He will be frantic by now. He is not friendly when someone threatens me. I’m afraid he is often quite rash, in fact.”
“Don’t be silly, child,” the queen said. “The Pooka will have sense not to challenge a queen, even if he is a favored one. And we will make sure that Queen Moragana and he do not find out where you are hiding.
“Oh, what fun all this is. It was so tedious before you came.”
I started to mention how I had not volunteered for this side trip, but the queen, the one that still remained unnamed, was already talking to Henri about the dances she wanted him to teach me.
Right then, my stomach growled so loudly it was as if I were behind a microphone giving a public service announcement: <<Train 736 is now pulling in at track C. Boarding in five minutes.>
Unfortunately, the growling tummy pulled the queen’s attention from her discourse with Henri. “Why haven’t you eaten something, Penelope? Are you afraid?
“It is an old wife’s tale that eating in Faery will force you to stay here forever. No one does that. People, even humans, can leave on a whim, not that they want to. You’ll find that Faery is far more pleasurable than your kingdom of magic-limited dullness.”
I’d never heard a single tale about Faery. But I did remember my mythology about Persephone. She was stolen by the God of the Underworld, and in Hell there were rules about eating anything. Was the queen telling me the truth?